


if we fall apart then it was our favorite dream

by scfttea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anyways, But whatever, Hinata - Freeform, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama - Freeform, M/M, but i would die for kagehina, but lets be real hes a whole bottom, contains some nsfw, hi this sucks, i got inspired to write a smut fic but, i love kageyama so much ohmygod, is this how i’m supposed to use tags, it turned out as angst, kageyama tobio - Freeform, kags is a top here, like two lines - Freeform, so i’m posting this anyways, who even am i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scfttea/pseuds/scfttea
Summary: They were more than friends but less than lovers.





	if we fall apart then it was our favorite dream

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song “scary love” by the neighborhood, they just released a new album and i am in love hjfjffj aLSO this sucks n i wrote it at like 3am

  
Kageyama knows he fucked up.

  
He knows because there's too many, way too many thoughts at the back of his mind that just won't leave, like an itch that he just can't quite scratch, and all those thoughts are about Hinata and Kageyama has no idea how to fix it.

It's Saturday, and Hinata is on top of him, head thrown back and mouth wide open, drool dripping down his chin but he's too fucked out to care and maybe, maybe if Kageyama wasn't so gross, and maybe if he didn't like the way it looked on Hinata he would comment about it, but instead he jerks up his hips and pushes his cock harder, faster, _deeper_ inside Hinata who's no longer holding back moans that are a little too loud for the neighbors not to hear.

Kageyama knows he fucked up because last Wednesday he told himself, this is it, it's time to stop this because if he wasn't going to cut this off he was going to get attached and he couldn’t get attached because Hinata wasn't his and he never would be.

But in all honesty, Hinata already was his everything and he might just go down and burn with him as long as it means they would be together. But it's not Wednesday anymore, it's Saturday and Kageyama has found himself in bed with the same piercing eyes and orange curls again, breaking his own promise just as fast as it was made.

He'd thrown himself into an endless pit, a pit that had a huge sign on it that said, _don't come closer,_ but Kageyama was an idiot, a complete and utter idiot, and curiousity killed the cat after all. 

Hinata's moans erupted the room, hot and erotic, his voice the only thing Kageyama could hear, the rest of the world blocked out, but he was convinced everyone would have been in the same state as him if someone like Hinata was on top of them, whimpering and moaning things like, more, please, kageyama, more, _tobio._

And Hinata had always been Kageyama's weakness and so he gave him exactly what he wanted, he gave him more, because he was stuck in Hinata's world, like a fly caught in a web, but he would not leave even if he could, Hinata had him wrapped around his finger and they both knew it.

Later that evening (-night, but when they were together time felt like it didn't exist), Kageyama was laying on his back with Hinata splayed across his chest, arms wrapped around him like he was his lover, even though he did not have that title; his lover.

“Is something wrong?” Hinata asked, and Kageyama briefly wondered why Hinata always felt the need to ruin the comfortable silence by asking questions he wasn't going to get answers to anyways, but then he remembered his voice was just as soothing as their silences. His messy, sweaty hair (too bright and too orange but perfect all together) was sticky against his forehead and he looked wrecked, gross and wrecked, but Kageyama thought he looked beautiful anyways and he desperately wanted to tell him that.

  
“’S just my face” Kageyama replied instead, deepening his scowl for the effect, turning his eyes away from Hinata and staring up at the ceiling instead, like the answer to his problems was magically going to pop up on there.

Hinata scoffed, and Kageyama could almost feel him rolling his eyes, but Kageyama was already lost in a world of fiction inside his mind where he never met Hinata and he wasn't in love with him. (and maybe for once Kageyama's dreams were scarier than reality).

“Shut up, _bakageyama_ ,” a nickname Hinata got well deservedly pinched in his side for, “I know something's on your mind, I can tell”.

That were Hinata's words and it made Kageyama want to cry, out of despair or love, Kageyama didn't know, but instead he tried to push Hinata's body of off him, pushing him away like he did with everything important that tried make his life easier, everything that tried to help him breathe, but maybe he prefered to suffocate even if it left him with a bitter aftertaste of ashes and burn marks and questions about why he was such a fuckup. (Hinata clung onto him though, arms wrapped around him like every moment with Kageyama was his last one, refusing to let Kageyama's walls block him out).

Kageyama didn't reply to what Hinata said, he couldn't, he might've snapped, he felt like a volcano ready burst out and destroy everything and everyone around him, but instead he stopped pushing and pinching Hinata's side and turned his head to press it into the other's bare chest, and maybe that gesture was sentimental enough for Hinata to just let it be (but Hinata never left things unfinished, and Kageyama knew he wouldn't let it go).

 

  

 

——————————

 

 

 

Kageyama was right. Because when Hinata was over at his place again, on a Tuesday, who the hell comes over to fuck on Tuesdays anyways, and maybe Kageyama secretely hoped that Hinata had just come around because he missed him but nevertheless, they ended up exactly the same like before. No matter how badly Kageyama wished his feelings for Hinata would suddenly dissapear, like the mist on a soft spring morning, things never changed.

Kageyama had never been a people person. There had been thrown too many insults at him in his lifetime, some true and some lies, but king was the most hurtful one, the one that prodded and pried at deep emotional scars the most. Kageyama was a king stuck in a democracy, unsure what to do when he wasn't superior to everything and everyone, like a wolf without a pack to push around.

_but hinata was a lion, bigger and stronger and so was his heart and he knew exactly how to get what he wanted from kageyama, and right now his goal seemed to be kageyama himself._

They were on Kageyama's bed, again, single sized in a shitty apartment in the middle of Tokyo, streets full of gas and smoke that made Kageyama feel like he was choking, like an invisible hand was pressing against his chest, and everything was so, so shitty, but right there in Kageyama's bed, safe from the outside world, it felt like a love story and they were the lead roles (or a dream but not quite as hazy) the way Hinata's lips where pressed against his throat leaving hot, open mouthed kisses.

And Kageyama thinks, fuck, what was Hinata doing to him?

Kageyama lets out a whine, embarrassingly loud, at the loss of contact of Hinata's lips against his throat but Hinata leans back, hands on Kageyama's chest and thighs wrapped around his hips, their erections pressed together through the thin layer of boxers, Kageyama already leaking against the blue fabric, and then Hinata hums, his fingers softly carresing this skin around Kageyama's chest when he mutters out a soft,

"You're pretty"

Kageyama doesnt blush with his cheeks, instead his entire face goes red, the tips of his ears and down his chest, and Kageyama doesn't know what to say for a split second, how to react. Hinata looks hazy, eyes half lidded and cheeks a soft peachy color and Kageyama briefly wonders what Hinata would do if he started to kiss them, to see if they would turn even darker if they felt the curve of Kageyama's lips. But Hinata's face turned into a smile, stupidly big and bright, when he caught Kageyama staring and he asked,

"Am I good for you?"

and Kageyama huffs,

"No,"

No, you're horrible for me, you ruin me and you wreck me and I hate you and I want you to stay away but your eyes are like poison, you look at them and you're already infected when it's too late to do anything about it but to helplessly watch yourself die, like it's not really your body, like you're just watching someone die in a movie. Like a ship sinking and sure, you can try to keep climping to the highest point in attempt to survive whatever you want but you're gonna end up drowning no matter what,

"you're the worst" _but i still want you anyways._

And at that Hinata's grin only broadens, and he moves his face closer so their noses are almost touching, which feels weirdly intimate and almost out of place, and then Hinata sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth a bit, a weird habit which Kageyama pointed out once only for Hinata to latch his tongue onto Kageyama's neck causing him to to go red from head to toe and yeah, that definitely shut him up.

"Do you love me?"

The question stills Kageyama.

He doesn't know what to do because, yeah, sure, he likes Hinata, alot (too much), but love? The concept of love, affectioned greetings conveyed to ones behalf, Kageyama didn't do love. He didn't do long relationships in fear of ruining them, ruining his partner and himself.

But Hinata wasn't one to be ruined, to break like he was made out of porcelain, Hinata was the one who was going to ruin Kageyama and Kageyama decides he would gladly let Hinata destroy him.

And as a reply to his question, Kageyama presses their lips together.

Their kiss was a little too harsh, their teeth clinking together and noses bumping causing Kageyama  to pull away in light embarrassment but Hinata's hand pulled his head back, fingers tangled through his hair, _stay_ , it means, _don’t go_.

And for the first time in his life Kageyama doesn't run, he doesn't push Hinata away and he accepts, he just lets the feelings and warmness overflow him and, _yes_ , he thinks, _yes, I love you_.

And so kageyama stays.

**Author's Note:**

> take a shot evertime u see “kageyama”


End file.
